


i'll be here to hold your hand

by badskeletonpuns



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feelings, Internal Monologue, SO MUCH OF THEM, doug's stellar lack of self confidence, minffel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 11:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6115222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badskeletonpuns/pseuds/badskeletonpuns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something is probably wrong with Commander Minkowski, Doug is fairly certain. But he doesn't want to intrude, she's probably fine, she can handle herself.<br/>She's not fine.<br/>Neither is he, honestly.<br/>But they'll work something out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'll be here to hold your hand

It took me a while to know realize that something was wrong, I'll admit it. When Minkowski doesn't want people to see something, she's very convincing. But come on, I heard the explosion on the shuttle! And I saw the smoke leaking into the Hephaestus when they opened the door. There’s no way even Minkowski and Lovelace got out of there without a scratch on them.

… Okay, maybe they could. Murphy’s Law is really my speciality. 

But I know what I saw, and what I saw was Minkowski holding her right arm very carefully and grimacing like someone had just told her that her Pirates of Penzance tickets were cancelled. I floated down the hallway towards the two women as quickly as I could without losing control of my movements. I'd learned that lesson the hard way. 

“You guys okay?”

Lovelace nodded curtly. “We’re fine, Eiffel,” she stated. Probably trying to sound reassuring, but honestly, that wasn't really her forte.The attempt definitely fell flat.

“Commander, you too, right? Looking a little pale over there.”

She noticed me looking at her and straightened immediately, frown disappearing under the mask of her usual neutral expression. “Don't worry, Eiffel. Like Lovelace said - we’re okay.”

I wasn't quite so sure, but hey, trusting Minkowski had saved my life on more than one occasion. She was probably just fine, I'd just caught her making a weird expression or something. 

So I let it go. 

The rest of the day went fairly normal - well, as normal as life ever got on the deadly sitcom that was the Hephaestus. It turned out the explosion had been caused by a couple of crossed circuits in life support, which was a surprisingly quick, if risky, fix. 

Fixing that with Minkowski was the second time I thought that maybe something was up. Lovelace wasn't allowed to help us because of the danger of another explosion. Apparently being in close proximity to that would be ‘dangerous’ and ‘possibly life threatening’. And there's the small fact that if Lovelace blew up, so would the rest of us. So she got stuck babysitting Hilbert and the plant monster while the commander and I worked on the shuttle. 

Alone. For the first time since Hera came back online.

Moving on.

Living with someone for this long, you learn stuff about them. For instance, I can tell you that Minkowski is ambidextrous. So when I noticed her only using her left hand to fiddle with the circuit board, I was a little suspicious.

But then it started sparking and Minkowski was shouting at me and Hera was spouting something from the communicator and I forgot about it again. We managed to stop another explosion, but it was still way too close a call. I did see Minkowski wince when she grabbed the door to get back into the Hephaestus.

That was probably just because the door was hot from the overheating engine or whatever else was going on the shuttle at the time. And Minkowski’d been through a lot worse than a single explosion! She didn't need someone like me bothering her about something that probably didn't even matter. She was fine. 

Or at least, that's what I told myself then. You know what they say about hindsight, though. 

It was in the evening when it finally clicked for me. Minkowski had kinda given up on the crew eating dinner together after Hilbert went all Benedict Arnold on us, especially since the two of us really didn't have time to sit down and eat while Hera was offline. Now we had time, but all Lovelace ever wanted to talk about is escape strategies and shuttle repairs. 

Anyway, this was not about Captain Monte Cristo, this was about Minkowski, and how last night something was definitely wrong with her wrist. Dinner was Lovelace-less - Love-less? - and Hera was busy with a debugging cycle that she had predicted would last almost all night. So it was just me and Minkowski.

Something was off about her from the moment she entered the room, but I couldn't tell what. The commander was wearing the same jumpsuit we’re all supposed to wear whenever we’re on duty, she was floating around normally, she was slightly frowning at whatever barely recognizable freezer-burned crap the dispenser spat out today. All roads pointed to Rome. In this case Rome being Minkowski’s wellbeing.

Still. Something was off. 

“Eiffel, is there a reason you're staring at me?” she asked. 

I started a little and grinned at her. Yeah, okay, maybe I wasn't being as subtle as I thought I was there. “Maybe you're just looking especially radiant today, Commander.”

Ah, yes, the unimpressed Minkowski stare. I have been the recipient of it many times in my months on the Hephaestus. 

She waved her hand dismissively at me, and damnit I know I just saw her wince when her wrist bent. 

“Minkowski, I-”

“Just get your dinner,” she muttered.

So I did, because despite what some people may say I can listen to orders sometimes. Rarely. After grabbing my food pack, I floated over to eat next to Minkowski and maybe strike up some light conversation and figure out what on earth happened to her wrist. Or what on the Hephaestus, I guess? 

She didn't actually say anything while we ate, which was another weird thing. I think I can say we’re definitely friends now, and talking is one of those things that friends do. I tried a couple of times to crack a joke, but I never got anything more than a weak smile or a shrug. 

And then Minkowski was trying to eat her protein pack with one hand, and I was getting kinda worried.

“Commander, are you sure you're okay?” 

“I'm fine, Eiffel,” she said, but I knew how a fine Minkowski sounded, and that was not her. But I also didn't want to push her for details. Minkowski was the commander for a reason, she knew her limits. If she said she was fine, she was fine, right? 

I changed my tune when she reached out to steady herself on a nearby wall and her right sleeve caught on a bent piece of metal, pulling it away from her wrist. 

Alright, look, I might not be the most observant person in the whole universe, but Minkowski’s wrist was swollen to way more than its usual size and also definitely redder than the rest of her skin.

“Commander, your wrist!”

“I said I was fine!” she grunted, tugged her hand free immediately, wincing as she moved her wrist. Minkowski pulled her sleeve back down to cover her wrist and glared at me, practically daring me to say otherwise.

“Uh, see, that may be what you said, but Commander, I'm not gonna lie to you. That looks really, really, not fine. You need medical attention!”

“I don't have time for that. We have a lot to do and it’s only a sprain. It's a minor injury, and I will be just fine,” she stated.

I feel like I should be offended that she thought that would convince me to leave it alone. “At least put some ice on it or a brace or something! C’mon, just imagine how long any of us would survive if you went out of commission. I give us ten minutes tops before something goes horribly wrong.” 

“You say that as if something isn’t going horribly wrong every ten minutes already,” she sighed. 

Which, to be fair, was an accurate statement. But I’d be damned if I let Minkowski take the blame for every single problem around here, especially because she was the one who actually fixed most of said problems. 

“Yeah, but we have you around to fix it!” I insisted. 

She couldn’t stop a small smile at that, and I grinned right back at her. Douglas Eiffel, king of mood lifting! At least I was good for something around here. Minkowski looked at her wrist, taking a few moments to consider the situation. Or something. I’m not a mind reader. 

“Eiffel, I… ” She took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes. Uh oh. “It’s like you said. I have to be here for the crew to fix the problem, to keep everyone alive. Things go wrong, and then I fix them. That’s the way it works.” Minkowski glanced at the floor. We didn't speak, and the silence seemed sadder now. More tired. 

Well, now I could add ‘made Minkowski sad’ to my long list of mistakes. And I could definitely remove ‘king of mood lifting’ from the much shorter list of things I've done right. Alright, I could fix this. I am an adult man and I definitely know how to deal with emotions. There was no way this could go wrong. It's not like Commander Minkowski was probably the second scariest person on this ship, and the only thing keeping her from first was that she was on my side.

“And you can't do that if your wrist swells up and falls off! Think of it this way: if you let me help, you don't have to get Doctor Strangelove to sew your tendon back together if it snaps.”

She winced at that, and we were both quiet for another minute or so. So that may have been a slightly graphic descriptor, but hey, it could happen. Probably.

“Okay.”

Wait, what? “What was that?” 

“Eiffel, don’t wait for me to change my mind. I'm going to see if Hera can get me some ice, and you can grab a brace from one of supply closets. Meet me back in my quarters once you have it.” She nodded at me once before turning and heading out of the room. 

I guess that worked! Operation ‘Make Sure Minkowski Doesn’t Permanently Damage Her Wrist’ is on its way to success. Side Quest ‘Make Minkowski Genuinely Happy For Like Five Minutes Please’ is a work in progress. 

I grabbed a wrist brace out of the medical supplies in one of the many closets scattered seemingly randomly all over the Hephaestus, and made my way down to Minkowski’s quarters. 

She always kept her door locked after the whole Hilbert mutiny thing, and I didn't blame her. I would have done the same if the captain’s quarters weren't the only ones that actually locked. It was an electronic lock, though, and she'd actually given me the code a while back. I knocked anyway before entering. Never let it be said Douglas Eiffel could not be a gentleman. Minkowski was already there when I floated in, holding an unmarked plastic bag full of ice gently on her wrist. She was clipped on to the wall by her bed and floated on the end of her tether.

“Hey, Commander. How's the wrist?”

She looked up from her wound, seemingly surprised even though I knocked. “It's a little better,” she said after a moment. “The swelling has gone down.” 

I closed her door and pushed myself off of it, floating in Minkowski’s general direction. She moved to carefully grab my arm as I got closer, but I reached out with my only free arm to snag the wall just next her and we kind of collided a little bit in a tangle of commander, comms officer, and one slightly damp bag of ice. 

Luckily I managed to grab her hand before the collision sent me further off course than Columbus trying to find a route to India. So I was no longer in danger of floating away. 

But now we were holding hands, and I know that sounds like a stupid thing to get worked up about, but obviously you've never held Renee Minkowski’s hand. I didn't even notice that she had accidentally dropped the bag of ice until I heard her hiss a curse and then let go of me to grab at the floating bag. 

Unlike the bag, I immediately clipped one of the straps handily attached to the wall onto one of my belt loops. Safe!

And sadly no longer holding her hand, or with an excuse to do so. 

Wait, crap, Minkowski was talking to me. 

“...with the brace?” she finished, despite the fact that I had no idea how she started. 

“Hypothetically, if I didn't hear a word of what you just said, what would you say?”

She snorted a little. “Hypothetically speaking, I was asking if you could help me get the brace on.” 

“Can do, Commander.” 

Minkowski held out her sprained wrist in front of her. She was right, the swelling had gone done some. Now her wrist looked way less like an inflated red balloon! Always a good thing. I wrapped the brace around her hand and wrist as gently as I could. Her skin was warmer than mine and her fingers and palm were callused. 

I must have pressed too hard while velcroing the last piece on, because Minkowski suddenly sucked in a quick breath and flinched away.

“Sorry, that was my fault,” I blurted, letting go of her wrist as soon as the brace was fully attached. “I didn't hurt you, right?” 

“Eiffel, I think I can handle a little jostling,” she assured me. 

“I know, I know, you’re like, literally Wonder Woman, but I still worry. It’s hard not to.” 

Minkowski shook her head. “Believe me, I get it. I’m still afraid that I’m going to wake up to an explosion or another mutiny most mornings or something worse...” She trailed off, gazing down at the floor with a slight frown. Then she looked back up at me and put her hand on my shoulder. “But we’re all still alive, and no one has succeeded in permanently killing one of us yet. We’re still here, Doug. You’re still here. And I think, out of everyone on the ship, you’re the only one who hasn’t purposefully or accidentally almost killed me.”

“Uh…you’re welcome? I mean, it’s not like I put serious effort into it.” I grinned nervously, unsure of where this was going. She didn’t smile back at me, just looked at me in that way she does sometimes, and I have no idea how to respond. Especially since all the crap with Hilbert went down, and what happened after that.

“I’m being serious,” she continued. “Sometimes I feel like you’re about all that’s stopping Hera from draining the oxygen out of Hilbert’s room while he sleeps or Lovelace from saying to hell with us all and taking her shuttle and leaving. And it hurts because that should be me, I’m the commander! I’m supposed to be the one holding the crew together but I can barely hold myself together anymore.” Minkowski sighed and took her hand off my shoulder. She rubbed at her face, stress lines wrinkling the corners of her eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to dump this all on you. I’ll be fine.” 

“Minkowski, I… I don’t know what to say. If it helps, I think you’re probably the most sane person on this ship. I’m just the communications officer, you know, it’s literally my job to make sure there’s still communication. I gotta be good for something, right?” Hesitantly, I reached forward to take her hand. I could be totally reading the situation wrong and completely ruin the moment, or I could be emotionally supportive towards someone who I care about very much. Worth the risk to me.

She took my hand and smiled at me. “Thank you, Doug. Despite what you may think, you’re pretty necessary around here in my book. So don’t you dare die on me.”

“I would never.” 

Minkowski pulled me forward and I can’t lie, for a second I thought she was going to kiss me. I would have totally supported that course of action, just saying. But instead she wrapped her good arm around my waist and I automatically just sort of returned the gesture and suddenly we were hugging. 

Sometimes I actually forget that I’m taller than she is, because I swear Minkowski gains like a foot in height every time she’s angry. But now, holding her close, the height difference was obvious. Her head fit perfectly tucked beneath mine as we hugged and it was the cutest goddamn thing I’ve ever seen on this station. Minkowski breathed in and out slowly, deeply, taking careful breaths. Her chest rose and fell against mine, and every time she breathed out I could feel the warm air on my neck. 

It kinda tickled, actually. 

But it was also really, really nice. I swear I could feel the tension drain out of both of us the longer we floated there, holding on to each other. 

Minkowski shifted in my arms, moving just far enough away to look me in the eyes. It was a little dim in her room, and her eyes were darker than usual in the low light. 

I couldn’t help myself. 

I leaned down and kissed her lightly, one hand still on her shoulder and the other sliding up to the side of her head. Minkowski closed her eyes and kissed me back, pulling me closer, closer still.

She broke away for a moment. “Doug,” she murmured into my neck, lips feather soft. I just about had a heart attack.

“Renee,” I risked whispering, more into her hair than to her face. I heard her breathing stutter, and before I knew it she was kissing me again, as fierce and determined as Renee Minkowski always is. Her skin was so hot where it touched mine, one hand on my neck, lips against mine, legs intertwined together. 

“Stay,” she mumbled, and pressed a kiss to the side of my mouth.

“Yes! I mean, yeah, I mean, it’s not like I have anywhere else to be, right? And has anyone ever told you how hot you are- I mean, you have other great qualities too, you’re a regular one woman army, you could probably-”

“Eiffel, shut up and kiss me again.”

**Author's Note:**

> haha this had more kissing than was originally intended. which is definitely a good thing in my book at least.  
> thanks to the ever-amazing beta and just generally awesome harpers_mirror for cheer-leading and fixing my typos!  
> this is technically complete but i might post a sort of companion fic/epilogue set post this in the morning, idk. we'll see. hope you enjoyed <3 <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [mornings after are arbitrary in space](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6130723) by [harpers_mirror (SapphireBryony)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireBryony/pseuds/harpers_mirror)




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